I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You are a genius and a whore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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