I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
