I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
