Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
