shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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