they're like a gay fantastic four
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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