Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
