tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He shit in the fireplace
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
