We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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