Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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