Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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