Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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