i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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