That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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