just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
