I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i will never coherently bang her
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
