dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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