I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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