Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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