I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
