it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
