i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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