The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
