I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
