I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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