What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
