Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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