I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
