it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize