the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
