I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
