She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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