Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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