No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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