Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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