So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
