who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize