Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
