I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
