these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
