I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My vagina just clenched in fear
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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