Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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