bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
