Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize