so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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