I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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