He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
