It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
