i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
