Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dick very happy bro
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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