are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
