dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
