Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i out mim tonsoeep
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