Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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