I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
