just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
