How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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