SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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